Blogging week against Consumption of all Beans مدوّن ضد إستهلاك الحمّص والفول

As per an agreement made with Abu Fares last week,I'm fulfilling my part by starting a blogging week against the consumption of all beans, Chickpeas and Fava beans in particular, in our beloved part of the world. We all know the popularity of such toxic elements in our daily diets. This popularity passed through all environmental, dietic, and morality censors in our society. We are a nation whose daily life is controlled by Fava beans and chick peas. In this twenty first century, it's about time someone raised a flag and protested this infiltration. In the next few paragraphs, I'll prove my point against this poison.

1. While beans might be a cheap and essential source of vitamins and calories, their side effects outweigh any potential benefits we might gain. Gases and the emission of toxic waste are a major headache caused by these elements. We have enough pollution as is in our skies from automobiles to add more to the mix. If you can think of the thousands of tons of those beans consumed daily on our tables, you can imagine the tons of bad air emitted as a result. Add a spark to these fumes, and you'll have an outrageous fire that will consume a large area because of the endless supply of fuel around it. I have no doubt some of the major arsens, like the last one in Damascus that consumed the ministry of tourism, was at least partially caused by these fumes.

2. These beans are in no way or shape a good dietary source. We all know about the weight problems our society faces, and chickpeas and fava beans, are a major cause. The calorie count in each dish is outrageous, and reaches as high as thousands of calories, well more than we need on a daily basis. We sure don't want our kids to wear adult size clothes while they're still in their teens. This causes them social embarrassment and adds to our financial burdens as well.

3. The social embarrassment and anti-social behavior caused after consuming these beans are humungous. All bean consumers seem to shy away from public outings. Gases trapped inside a human body without the ability to release cause great discomfort and withdrawl from common physical and social activities. Many people ignore the warning signs and still participate in social gatherings, which would result in a blame game and arguments and a weird atmosphere when emmissions are finally released into thin, and already polluted atmosphere. After a sad episode or two of these social mishaps, one tends to stay away from such gatherings, which can lead to lonliness and even suicide in some cases.

4. Holding those gases inside without a realease leads them to travel up all the way inside the human body to the brain. This trip and the final destination are reasons for catastrphic results. Shi**y ideas and outrageous trains of thoughts are results of these gases residing in the brain. This post was the result of such fumes journey to the brain. The author consumed a large dish of fava beans mixed with chickpeas, olive oil, lemon, and garlic. You are being subjected to reading the sad results in this case. I'm sure many politicians, planners, and executives come up with ideas after such consumption. This is the major source of wars, bad economies, and bankruptcy in our part of the world.

I'm sure there are many other problems and results that will never be tackled. Rememeber the movie The Silence of the Lambs? Dr. Hannibal Lecter told Clarice that he ate one of his victims liver with some fava beans. Could the beans have caused his canibalism in that case? We may never know.

Please join me in boycotting these ingredients and finding a safer alternative.


Abufares said...

Great read. Farcically funny.
I guess it's going to be a great week indeed. I wouldn't be able to sleep tonight until I get my hate campaign started. Thank you for setting the tone for momentous things to hit the fan.

Katia said...

LOL! Beware, the beans are part of the conspiracy!

Great post!

أنا سوري said...

You're always gracious Abu Fares, thank you. Same to you Katia.

Mariyah said...

LOL! How funny! I got a great laugh out of the post and enjoyed the hilarious photographs as well. Well done! This idea of yours and Abu Fares' is a wonderful one. I shall have to put some thought into it and see if I can join you! :)

أنا سوري said...

Mariyah. Thanks for the compliment. This idea was Abu Fares alone, and I just followed along. I think it's great. Good to hear from you again.

Isobel said...

Oh no, I had beans for lunch!! Would it be hypocritical of me to comment??? Great post!! I came here from Abufares' blog!! Fantastic...this whole campaign. I love it! And I just got the go ahead to join in...gotta go...have writing to do!! :)

أنا سوري said...

I had beans before writing this article as stated, and what you read was the result, lol. I'll check your blog to see what you come up with. I'm sure it'll be great